Ya know, I don’t make many claims of geekdom. In comparison to many of my circles of friends I am quite geeky, but not compared to the Wombatcasters or much of the Wombat army. I’m not ashamed to admit it, I’m just not to your level of geek. However, there is one claim to geekdom that I will make and stand firmly by…I am a Movie Geek, Master of the First Order. I'm the person people come to find out what to watch. I’m the person that people come to with questions like, “What’s the name of that guy that was in that movie with what’s his face?..You know, the identity theft?” “Identity theft?...Do you mean The Talented Mr. Ripley?...Jude Law?” “YES! Thank you!” Yes, that was an actual text exchange I’ve had. I’m banned from playing the Kevin Bacon game because I’m unbeatable. I talk in movie-speak, both novice and advanced dialects. I can pull the actor’s name, character’s name, movie title and/or relevant quote out of thin air like a magician. This my Kung Fu, and it is strong. And yes, I damn near have aneurysms whenever the guys are grasping for names or titles on the show. And I love the show, I really do. The banter, the prideful level of profanity, the insight into realms I’m not that familiar with, all of it. Having said that....I find the strangest things stick a bee in my bonnet that won't be stilled. Such as with this episode 72. Thrilled as I was to hear a discussion naming two of my favorite writer/directors (I have a slight sensitivity for and passionate opinions about writer/directors...Some say they’re more like obsessive, psychotic rants…I say potato, tomato, fuck them, but consider that fair warning), I was devastated by the content of the conversation. So now I unload this hornet’s nest of indignation on those daft enough to bother to continue reading this, which means I don't blame anyone that bails out now.
“Send him [M. Knight Shyamalan] and George Lucas back to film school”. Really!? REALLY!?! How how how can you possibly put them in the same category!?!
I love Star Wars, I remember the chill of excitement that ran thru me the first time I sat in a darkened theater and the story unfolded before me, way back when it was actually new and cutting edge. I have a video of me opening Christmas presents that spans over the course of 8 or 9 years where the majority of booty was Star Wars something or other. I have a love for A New Hope, Empire and Jedi that both defines and endears a huge chunk of my childhood. However, Lucas has been sucking on the Star Wars tit for so long it’s become an elongated, shriveled up sack of monkey piss. He hasn’t had an original thought in 20+ years, unless you count his coming up with random story concepts that he isn’t talented enough to see to fruition himself. He just repackages the same movies again and again thus conning the fans of the franchise to line his pockets with year 2000-whatever movie ticket prices for the same 1970/80 whatever films. Sure, he put out the prequel trilogy, but the best thing to come from those three movies was Weird Al Yankovic’s ‘The Saga Begins’. And other than his minimal contributions to the Indiana Jones franchise and SW, what else has Lucas created, as in wrote and directed? Anyone? Anyone? 1973’s American Graffiti. In my entire life span thus far, Lucas has fully created 2 things and his greatest accomplishment is managing to bankroll one of those creations into a marketing beast he can use to rape the fans for almost 40 years. Of course I realize y'all aren't overall Lucas fans either, and that's where my beef with the comment lies.
M. Knight Shyamalan is original, cleaver and thought provoking. Maybe I'm sensitive because he's a 'hometown boy', but...No. He's gotten a bum rap because people attempted to place limits on his talent. After the Sixth Sense everyone expected his movies to be that exact formula: Creepy with a supernatural twist. And he did deliver that to some degree or another most of the time, just not in the exact way I think most expected. I’m not saying he hasn’t made some bombs (The Happening, Marky Mark as a science teacher!? Sorry, not feeling it), but what writer/director hasn’t? Even Spielberg has offered up some crap (can you say, A.I.?). Sixth Sense, Unbreakable (How is it possible any comic book fan doesn’t consider Unbreakable genius storytelling?!), The Village and, my personal favorite, The Lady in the Water are brilliant. Oh yeah, I said it…Brilliant! He weaves his tales in a different way which is quite refreshing in this world of remakes, reboots and played out sequels. Devil was more his then Justin gave it credit for, he was in on creating the concept of the story even though he didn’t write the screenplay. I liked Devil because it had that Shyamalan flavor, but I believe had he written the script and directed it himself it would have been so much better. He has a knack for storytelling, and not the same story for the last 35 years. Such as the overblown, over-rated, time to get over it, has been Lucas. So, lumping them together was quite unjust.
As for the Tarantino discussion, I will flat out say this…Justin is wrong! Admittedly, Tarantino has a style that is apparent in all his films, similar to that of Robert Rodriguez (whom I consider the Mexican Tarantino) and Guy Ritchie (whom I consider the British Tarantino), but that shouldn’t suggest the stories are all the same. I say see every Tarantino creation you can get your grubby little fingers on, film or television, watch them all again and again. The world thru Tarantino's eyes is so insane you have to love it! But if you can’t or won’t go to the extreme, at least watch the pivotal ones. True Romance (I know he didn’t direct it, but the fight he wrote between Alabama and Virgil resulted in what is arguably one of the greatest fight sequences caught on film…The director’s uncut version, please), Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill (Of course I mean both movies…And Andy’s bullshit claims to being ‘caught up’ with movies are hereby revoked!...You haven’t seen Kill fucking Bill and you think you’re up to date!?!...Get a clue, son!), Death Proof and Inglourious Basterds. I still recommend taking the extreme route though, it’s Quentin Taran-fucking-tino, there’s no disappointment there!
Ok, I’m done now. For those that bothered to get this far? I realize that’s five minutes of your life you won’t get back....Sorry, I tend to ramble
"You're not a bad person. You're a terrific person. You're my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real cunt." - Bill